My Washington Post OpEd on Gay Marriage

Last week I had the privilege of writing an opinion piece for the The Washington Post in light of the Supreme Court ruling on marriage. Here are the ending paragraphs from the article:

My prayers going forward will be for those who fear the results of the decision that was made today. Those who feel like they have lost their country and like evil is prevailing. As one who once felt that way I believe I can pray for them with great understanding and empathy. My prayer won’t be for them to change their mind on anything gay. My prayer will be for them to repent of fear.

Perfect love casts out all fear. Love never fails. I hope the 60 percent of Americans who won today will remember the 40 percent who feel as though they lost. This is truly an opportunity for the majority to do unto others better than they were once done unto. I believe this can happen because what I have found as a former conservative religious leader amongst the people I once opposed is love, acceptance, affirmation and friendship.

It’s time to end the war. It’s time for peace and rest. For Christians, I believe the Gospel demands it. There’s never been a better day for it than today.

Click here to read the full article. I look forward to your comments.


  1. Amy Metheny says

    Thank you Alan! As one who spent years in therapy, committed to a Living Waters group and attended Exodus Events, words will never convey my appreciation for speaking out so honestly. I am now happily married to a woman I have been with for 8 years and we are in a wonderful affirming and diverse congregation where I am allowed to use my gifts for the glory of God. It was a terribly long and painful struggle as a leader in the church coming out at at the age of 40 and telling my church family God had changed my mind on the issue of homosexuality being a sin. Your words are healing balm to the wounds I suffered at the hands of well-meaning Christians and Christian leaders. Thank you for your continued sincere leadership on such difficult issues in our culture. May God bless you and your wife!

    • says

      Amy, thank you for sharing your story, giving this update, and for your encouragement. God bless you and your wife. Thankful you have found peace and a wonderful community in which to experience God in all his fullness!

      • says

        I have only recently been reading and listening to what you have to say, and therefore I do not understand everything about Exodus, what it did, and why you made the decision to discontinue it. But I think I have the general idea. I whole heartedly agree with your general statements to the effect that fighting a “culture war” is not the Church’s mission.

        The Church’s mission is to preach God’s Word (Law and Gospel) and administer the sacraments (I’m a Lutheran, so I believe in sacraments, but we can discus that some other time).

        I think the problem with Exodus was that it was trying to teach people that they could gain God’s favor and love through their own efforts. In other words, by the law. And I believe you were right to turn from that. But now I am a little concerned that, havoing hurt so many people with the law, that you think the Church can do without it and preach the Gospel alone. So, I am going to ask you to consider the possibility that that won’t work either.

        This is far too complex a topic to cover in a blog comment box, so I am going to direct you to a set of propositions by Lutheran theologian C.F.W. Walther. Roll them over in your mind and compare them to Scripture.

        Please accept my best wishes and prayers for your love for your neigfhbor and the way you are trying to put it into practice.

  2. says

    If we compromise the Gospel of Christ to accommodate sin, then we remove all hope for true repentance and salvation; thus we have doomed all mankind to an eternity in the Lake of Fire. (Unless you believe Hell is not real and Jesus was a liar and a lunatic.) BTW: You need more Black friends. In box me.

  3. says

    Wow, I’m almost starting to believe you could might achieve something constructive if you show your fellow christians they don’t need to fight the gays and regard them as the enemy (the real enemy is hate, not love). Of course, few of them will listen to you because, as the “Rev Rafielle Usher” comments, not constantly preaching fire and brimstone is regarded as compromising on the gospel (and in a way I suppose it is, because the bible IS indeed anti-gay).

    You’ve got a long way to prove your apology after closing down Exodus was sincere, but keep going like this and you may get there eventuallly.

    Sure would be interesting to read your upcoming book – Feel free to send me a copy for review. Who knows, I might like it better than “God’s Grace and the Homosexual Next Door”..

  4. d jones says

    The problem, Alan, is that the gospel is divisive. Even Jesus said he didn’t come to bring peace to the world, but a sword…where a person’s enemies will be members of his own family. How do you rationalize that away?

  5. d jones says

    So in essence, you are preaching a new all inclusive, ecumenical gospel that doesn’t demand change. Peace comes at a price. Jesus said, “if any man come after me (claim to be a disciple) he must deny himself…(stop his/her sin). Yes, there is a price to pay. It’s not cheap, either. It’s curious to watch how you try to skirt the fence and try to please everybody. That’s not the gospel that brings change. No, that is the gospel the gospel that leads to destruction.

    • says

      Yes, Alan, I agree with d jones and others. You cannot have authentic love without the truth, and yet that is exactly what you are promoting. It is a false love completely devoid of the truth of God.

      My fear is that as a professing believer in Jesus Christ, you will, in the end, be held accountable for leading others astray regardless of your good intentions.

      This is truly frightening and I hope you will sincerely and prayerfully rethink your position on the issue of homosexuality because there is so very much at stake here.

      • says

        God’s Word is very clear, and it is only out of a sense of pride that we twist it to say what it does not, and remove from it what is quite clearly stated. I have read “revised” Scripture interpretations regarding homosexuality and one doesn’t have to think too hard to realize that none of those justifications ring true. I am so concerned for those within the gay community that may be lead into receiving a false gospel because of false teaching.

  6. Mike says

    Yes. I, too, want to know if you think homosexual sex is a sin or not. I ask this in the context of any other sin, of which we are all so guilty and in need of deliverance from.

  7. ronald therrien says

    The real christians standard is the word of God and not our own or the worlds. 1 Cor 6:9-11 makes it clear that those who practice sinful behavior will not inherit Gods kingdom but be sent to hell for eternity. Those whom the Lord in His mercy calls out, saves and who are the elect will be justified, and glorified and made fit for His kingdom;all this because of the work of the cross that He sovereignly applies to the heart of His redeemed. Gal 5: 19 addresses it again. May the Lord open your eyes to the real gospel that divides and separates us from the social gospel that has seduced you and many others into doing the will of Satan( the worlds way of love) and not not taking the narrow way of dying to self and the ways of the world. We as his followers who do his word(all of it) are commanded to obey his laws and as his we exalt the law once we are saved from our sinful ways and truly converted thru regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spt. Rom 3:31 says we uphold and exalt the law for it reveals Gods holiness which we are called to be, as he is(Rom 7:12-14). May you seek and find a truly bible focused church that will do the hard things and do all of it.

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